Agent of Death
by yulian
Summary: On white day many mutants lost their abilities. Ellanor is one of them. About to die she she prepares but Wolverine isn't gonna make it that easy on her. One last mission. and probaly her last...? R


Disclaimer: I don't own the x-men, or any of its characters. However Ellanor Hollam aka renegade is mine. R&R! thankyou for reading!!It's an in-progress work so be patient, lol. enjoy and let me know what you all think. I feel like I left some holes in here, but have trouble finding em' all sometimes. :) Enjoy!!

Three years ago I was one of the most powerful mutants on this planet. Not only did I lose my powers but also my health. It's like a cancer eating slowly at my genes, destroying my blood that's already contaminated as it is. What BT51 did to me and what I lived through, what made me a stronger mutant then normally possible, is destroying me.

I took my life for granted I had power, and health (minus the usual broken bones, bruises, scrapes and so on). I have the money still, but that's never been anything real special to me. To put it simply if I lost my money I'd be screwed, but that's impossible unless you can break through a Swiss bank account without someone noticing. Even for me it's damned near impossible to get anything out. I made it that way. The safer the better.

But you aren't here to hear about how bloody rich I am.

You're here to here how sick I am.

When I was 11 years old I discovered had the ability to manipulate energy to my will, and flight. I was amazingly gifted, rescued by Professor Xavier and trained by the x-men until I was 15. What happened at 15 you ask? The last of my kin died.

My father took an ancient looking handgun that no one even knew worked and shot himself in the head one evening after drinking a bottle of Russia's finest vodka.

After that I went to the professors and lived with him. He adopted me and I became his daughter to all. He made me feel like I had a family again. I was barely 17 when I was kidnapped by a subterfuge team known as Black Team 51.

I was a human ginny pig and spent about a year in a green slimy chemical until I went totally psycho and lost complete control of my abilities. I had changed from a semi dangerous teenager with powers but control over them to a completely driven with anger and hate burning so deep that I didn't care who I killed teenager.

I was sick of being tortured and besides whatever they had pumped last into my bloodstream awoke something in me that was almost like swallowing evils little pill, if evil even had a pill.

I awoke in the mansion in an isolation chamber. I had stab marks and bruises untreated. I'd apparently been attacking those who were trying to save me. I was tied down and sedated when I woke up, and wolverine, jean and a few others were nearby in what appeared to be worse shape then me…

I looked at them and began to cry…

But that was 7 years ago, and that's only the beginning of my trip that has been my life.

I was 18 inheriting money I couldn't spend enough of, and learning to control my abilities again. Finally I was able to live and breathe without causing fear panick or pain…

I was at my top level. Unbeatable, undefeated. I was working part for shield and the x-men. I found I enjoyed killing too much to want to stop. The professor never really got it as much as the others did. Being an x-man was everything I ever wanted, but killing the bad guys was always first priority. I almost killed magneto once…wish I had, a lot of people wish I had.

So anyways I continued to kill, and kill, and survive battle after battle. My appearance changed completely after the experiments. I went berserker rage and turned to a big black vacuous hole of death. Usually took a lot of pain even worse then this to get me out of it.

Murderer and x-man.

I was a wolverine without a set of claws.

But then the relish of killing ended on white day. Almost immediately I could feel my blood begin to burn. Had it not been for fast medical treatment and shi'ar technology I would have died right then and there.

Now I'm sicker then ever. Now I'm dying. And slowly at that. Painfully I write this as I lay on my deathbed in my home. I don't know who to give this to. Wolvie comes and visits, but the others…no I'm alone now. I'm alone in my guilt and shame and powerlessness.

Logan comes and holds me and lets me cry when the nightmares come. He is fighting for me. He's shared blood with me so many times its crazy. It helps. I don't know how but it helps. Every 3 months now he's here, give or take a day, bleeding into me, watching me suffer.

I can see the pain reflected in his eyes as he looks at me soon… should be coming about Tuesday I hope. I don't think I am going to make it and I need to tell him.

I need to make love one last time. I need to cry one last time, and need him there when death comes for my dirty bloodstained soul. If there is a god I am so going to hell for all I've done.

And believe me, it's not enough to ask for forgiveness for, even if it were possible.

Ellanor's letter to whom it may concern (Logan)

"Dear family of my heart, beloved friends so close.

If you are reading this I am either in the final stages of dying or dead. This is official documentation of course so please try to make sure the lawyer gets the copy and everyone gets appropriate keys, passwords, etc.

I do not think I have talked about my funeral and how I want it, but I would like to now. I would like to be buried beside my mother in Japan. Please make sure the monks are given a large donation. (2 million cash seems appropriate, after all I give them about half that for my mothers caretaking every 2 years.) Please make sure the properties in Russia, Japan and US are taken care of. I do not care for the Russia home so much, but for sentimental reasons held onto it. Please donate it to the Russian children's organization, and donate 10 million US. That should hold them over.

As for the US home, please make sure it gets cleaned up after you have gone through and shut down the danger room down there for good, plus everything else. See if you can hire some of the schools mutants to clean it out. Pay them well is all I ask, and if they are underage put it in the school account for them. Then sell the damn place. There's a lot of death here. A lot of pain here. Do whatever you want with the monies received.

The ancestral home in Japan is a family home and must be held onto. Consider it yours to protect Logan. Consider it your place now. You were as close as a brother and yet everything to me…you don't know how hard it is to write this. How hard it is to have to say goodbye. I'm scared but its time…my bones have been telling me this for a very long time. There is a key and other document's in here. Whatever you do not lose them. They are the information to all my accounts unknown to the rest of the world, the Swiss one mostly. They will need some sort of legal paperwork to make sure I'm really dead, and all that. Otherwise if the money rots there it stays there, and you are my sole benefactor, besides the school.

As for the school, I have specific rules that will be in place for the money to be used.

They are in a separate envelope and file altogether. About 1 billion goes to the school. That's more then Xavier's last resting place will ever need again.

Please make sure not to try to kill Emma when you give it to her.

The remaining goes equally split to 10 different hospitals sympathetic to mutants/humans all over the world. There's the paperwork in the office and the names and places and the appropriate people to send it to.

Feel free to ask my lawyer to do all this.

Now for the sentimental shit.

Goodbye Logan. I loved you fiercely. Thank you for being by my side even when you wanted to run away. Thank you for protecting me and helping me live as long as I have.

Make sure nothing extravagant is held for me. Just some courtside here or at the school. I do kind of hope I get a plague of being an x-man…Emma has so ruined so many of our lives. Please let my memories live on for me, and please if she gives up a fuss make sure to remind her who saved her ass multiple times in a fight. Dumb diamond. World class bitch, as Jube's would say. She does a damn good job though doesn't she? Runs that school like clockwork. Maybe Cykes will get a backbone someday and take over like professor x wanted him to.

All this bullshit Wolvie, all this is me not letting go. My hands hurt from typing, and signing shit. Everything is ready and it's all waiting for me and for you.

Please tell everyone I loved…those who remain that I loved them and see they also get some royalties for loving a rich bitch like me. Leave my lawyer to that. He can figure out my money better then I can.

My sentimentalities are fading…

Goodbye Logan, and see you in the afterlife someday long from here.

Ellanor Renee Hollam"

She finished writing the letter, and packing the papers into a thick folder that held everything people seemed to want of her. She had already paid her nurses more then necessary and they happily obliged but would not take more. She had left them in the official will 1 million though each. They were great company, humans… humans like her. She sat back against the fluffy pillows and closed her eyes and went to sleep in a soft daze.

She dreamt she was flying. She was flying everywhere, and using her old powers, she was her old size 8 jeans and DD bra size…she was wearing her tight black combat suit and she was battling some unnamed foe. She was laughing though, crying…she could feel the slight shaking of her body as she began to wake up.

When she opened her eyes she saw Logan. He looked at her with fierceness in his eyes. He had an IV in his arm as the blood was pumping into her. "You ain't going anywhere. Not yet." She realized she had been dying. She smiled and touched his face gently. He took her hand in his, strong yet gentle. "You're here… You with me…" her eyes had a glazed over effect in them. She looked drugged and dying. It wasn't too far from the truth.

She finally seemed to come out of it, as he stroked her slowly with his rough but gentle hands. He sat down beside her and took her hand in his.

"What day is it?" she finally asked. "Thursday." She was surprised…"I was running late for our usual appointment. I'm sorry. I almost lost you." He said. He hoped for her for so long that maybe, just maybe she would be able to live a healthy normal life again. Although normal for an ex cape is harder then one can imagine sometimes.

"I wish…I wish this had all never happened." She said. He squeezed her hand in response." Believe me, you're not the only one who feels that way." She nodded softly thinking of the others who lost their powers. Others had lived on. Others had walked in front of semis or drugged themselves to death, while others had lived normal lives that seemed to be oddly fitting them but never expected.

When the transfusion was done she felt more alive again. The burning seemed to subside long enough to go on a short walk on the grounds with Logan. He carried her, or held his arm around her keeping her safe from falling. She was stubborn but not so much as before. She was willing to rely on others out of need now. Her stubborn horse ass mouth and attitude seemed to stay though in some form.

They reached finally what they were looking for. There was bench in the middle of the forest, with an awning over it. It was surprisingly comfortable and dry as they sat together. He lit a cigar and stood. "Logan?" "Yeah darling?" "Did you read it?" he nodded yes looking at her in the eyes. "Why did you save me?" she knew it was his mutant blood that healed her, the only blood that seemed to keep her going for long enough to see him again. "I was ready to die. I wanted to die." "I wasn't going to let go of you yet. Besides, you're needed." "How am I needed?" she asked cautiously. He paced for a moment. "SHEILD needs your Intel on Russia. He wants you there on the mother ship." She snickered at the mother ship comment. That's what it was to a lot of people though. People could disappear for years up there. She got serious. One last mission. Intel mostly and protected most probably. Talk about dying happy. "What going on that they are pulling a sick woman out of bed to some unnaturally cold place?"

He smiled. "I knew you couldn't resist. I will be with you the entire time, and we will have protection for you otherwise. Even have your old suit back." She smiled at that. "It's going to be baggy on me now I think. This is serious huh?" "This is worth pulling a sick woman out of bed for." He said as he put the cigar out and walked over to her, embracing her tightly to his chest. Their eyes met and there lips fought the battle. He made sweet gentle love to her that day, and prepared for what was to come.

It had been more then 3 years since she had been on the helicarrier aka mother ship, but as soon as she walked back up the daunting and familiar surroundings. She carried a light bag of civilian clothes she might need if she was on the search for contacts in Russia. She thanked the gods that she was multilingual. She'd always been that way. She was approached by a man. Captain America in civvies. A cape. She groaned but smiled on the outside. "Ma'am" and "Steve." she greeted him back. He didn't remember her. Partially grateful she continued on until she heard him come behind her. "Holy hell. Ms Hollam?" she stopped and turned. "It's damned good to see you. Colonel said he had someone special coming in for our next operation. She smiled then spoke. "It's been awhile cap. How are you? How have you been?" he flashed his superhero smile and it went into a softer smile, one Ella remembered more. "Fighting the good fight as always. You dropped off the face of the earth. What happened?" "I got sick after I lost my powers. First and probably last mission I'll be on ever again." He smiled at her and put his hand on her shoulder. "You're dying." She nodded in reply. "Yes, and barely able under most circumstances. But I'm gonna spend some time for about a week in the SHEILD labs while they figure out some way to help me. Then mission time." She finished with a bright almost eager smile. She couldn't wait to be out on the field again, even though she felt afraid somewhat. "That where you headed?" he asked motioning for her bag. "It's light. Logan is getting the heavy one with my stuff in it. "Well let me take it anyways and walk with you to the lab. "She was feeling weak, and he could see it. There was nothing she could do to hide the bags under her eyes or the fact that her hair was much shorter, and a lot less then what it used to be. Her eyes were even a lighter green, a jadish lime color. Natural if she had been human, unnatural because of the years she spent with dark beautiful eyes and a body to kill for. He walked with her, offering her his arm.

The usual superhero fanfare when capes like cap came on board wasn't the same with someone as delicate looking as her.

When I say delicate I say about size 5, and weak appearance. Ella could hold her own in a fight but with so little recent practice even that was questionable. They arrived at the med-lab with Logan in tow. He had seen them and kept a distance until they got to there.

"Cap" he said in his gruff voice. "wolverine." Cap said in reply. "Take good care of her." He said a twinkle in his eye as he looked at her. Logan nodded and moved to her side and ushered her to a small seat. He took the bag from cap, and sat beside her. "You alright?" "Tired" she said as she leaned on him unexpectedly. He put his arm around her as she breathed deep in fell into a light sleep. She was awoken by the feeling of needles being poked into her. "You sure this is gonna work?" she heard Logan asking. He sounded uneasy. "No reason it shouldn't. She'll be here for about 3 days then taken to training to key up." It was the Colonels voice she recognized. She opened her eyes. "Nick?" she said. "Ellanor." His voice lightened audibly. "It appears you are awake." "Yep." She said in a non committal voice. "Not for long if you're alright with that." "Rest, Agent. You're gonna need it." "What's the Intel so far? Why did you need me? I got some details but not much." He sat beside her bed and handed her a manila folder. It was heavy and she could barley hold it, it was so thick. "Top secret huh?" he nodded. "Has a lot to do with your fathers work." She nodded. She knew that. No surprise there considering some of the unquestionable things he did to people and mutants alike while they were still living in Russia. "I will read it later if that's alright." I will post a guard so you don't get too disturbed while you get treated." "What exactly are you doing to me?" she asked as she looked at all the various tubing coming into her skin and out again. It was painful on some level but surprisingly manageable. She sighed. "Well we are rerouting your poisonous blood into that container over there, and filling you with Logan's blood." Logan lay beside her on another hospital bed. "Nothing new to me." "What's different is that you are being treated with a series of placebos to distract the poisonous blood and some real stuff that should knock it out of your system." "That easy huh?" "Hardly. Its gonna hurt like hell and you're probably gonna want to kill me when we are done with you. You've been transplanted with a small devise that releases white blood cells and such that have been mechanically engineered specifically to function for you when you are busy fighting for your life." "There's a possibility I might die?" "Yeah." He said somberly. "I'm not dead yet. And it doesn't hurt that bad yet. Hand me the file and have someone bring me some tea." He smiled and stood patting her knee as he rested the large file on her lap. She began to read it and look over the papers…ancient documents that had seen better days. Some newer. It was about 5 hours before she looked at Logan and he looked at her. "You read it yet?" "yeah." He said as the blood was entering into her via tubes and everything else. Transfusions weren't exactly ra ra fun times. He'd been sleeping for the last couple hours.

"I see why they brought me back in." she said moving around a bit to get comfortable. She closed her eyes and went to sleep too.

Five days later Ella stood for the first time without pain, without dizziness. She smiled and realized the circles under her eyes were gone. She flexed her hands willing her super human abilities to come back but that was no luck. She shrugged, sighed and grabbed her bag off of the med-lab desk. They had filled it up with medicines for her to take in case 'it' wore off. She went to her temporary quarters and sat on the side of the bed, while she packed her clothes and combat suit along with her other necessities. Credit cards, cash and weapons. She never took the SHEILD stuff they offered her, or used it. She had her hands to do the killing and her hands were all she needed.

She thought though on bringing a gun though or two and plenty of ammo. Something for the 'what the hell' situations when she couldn't get a close shot in. after finishing packing she stood and put her long leather coat with mink on the inside on. The hood was large and just as warm, and it had plenty of pockets. She wore her usual stilettos and tight jeans, with a brown sweater. She put on a pair of medium size leather gloves and made sure the boots were lethal looking as she was. "Oh crap that's right…" she said as she pulled the Gucci sunglasses out of one of the pockets, and put them on.

She slung the bag over the shoulder and walked out of her quarters, into the crowded halls. "Agent Renegade." Some cadet said in a typical superhero worship sort of way. She smiled and said "cadet." And walked on. The guys around him seemed to stop and stare and then asked. "What's the deal with her?"

"She was a member of the x-men and then a member of shield for about 3 years here. She is the type that will black bag you and kill you without a second thought." They all seemed to shudder. They could still hear her hells clicking along the halls.

Ella truly enjoyed herself at these moments. These moments when power was hers and when she was in control. She walked to the waiting group before her. All were assembled and waiting. They looked impressed and afraid at the same time. She smiled wickedly in return. Logan smiled back, as did Fury. "Ready?" she nodded yes as he handed her a silver cell phone. "Give me a call when you arrive and Ella…" "Yes?" "Stay safe. Don't want to have to bring back our best in a body bag." "Yes sir."

She took one last look at the helicarrier before the clouds seemed to swallow them and bring them to the place of their mission.

Moscow, Russia


End file.
